it’s very frustrating being a girl and trying to flirt with other girls like. you tell them, ur cute. ‘Aw thank you’ no. no i’m being gay with you. homo intended. damn it
the absence of no is not yes
silence is not approval
give your partner the chance to say no.
if i ever piss you off tell me
i want to be given the chance to make things right
don’t bottle it up because you feel like it’s easier
if it can be avoided just tell me
communication means a lot to me ok and i like everything to be out in the open
Mutuals send me a number and I’ll make a post talking about you
Yessss do it
What even is the difference between pan and bi like how do I know which one I am >w
It’s supposed to be that pan is more inclusive, but
In practice it has been used be cishets who are chasers or only attracted to certain subgroups of trans people (read: cute white transmen).
Which isn’t to say that you can’t reclaim it. Also, I’d be hot for someone whose genitals were a mass of tentacles, or if they had no genitals at all. I think that’s the sort of thing pan is a better descriptor for.
I am pan because bi just doesn’t feel right. That’s literally all that I have been able to figure out. I mean, I have heard some bi people say that gender is important in terms of their attraction to people, but not necessarily in regards to a gender binary. For me, I like cute people and that’s just it. Socially, cis men are gross, but I get feelings for them sometimes, *grumblemoancomplain*. Idk.
^ I feel basically the same, but there’s one other thing I feel on the whole thing.
First of all, I’m only commenting to say my reasons for IDing as pansexual, not to say that there is a right or wrong way to ID when it comes to bi vs pan. There’s a lot of debate on the subject (as I’m sure you know), and I’m firmly of the belief that people should ID as they ID and respect others’ decisions on that matter.
I ID as pan (most of the time) because bi doesn’t feel right. *Initially* that was because I was attempting to rail against the gender binary, but most people who ID as bi would are (rightfully) offended by the implication that their sexuality reinforces the gender binary.
The commonly accepted definition of bi within the queer* community is attraction to “same and other genders,” not, “Attraction to men and women.” For that reason, when talking to other not-straight people, I’ll use either bi, pan, or simply “queer*” to explain my sexuality.
However, many straight people see bi as meaning “attracted to men and women.” Whether I would mean “bi” that way or not, odds are that’s how it’s going to be taken if I’m talking to someone who wouldn’t think to define it any differently.
It is for that reason that, officially, I ID as pansexual. It’s because the people who understand aren’t going to care what I call my sexuality, but the people who don’t are going to make assumptions that make me want to scream.
*I use queer as a self-identifying term and as an umbrella term. I understand some people are not comfortable with the word, and I do not intend to apply it to any individuals. If anyone is uncomfortable with my usage here, I am open to discussing it.